Using Morphine to Improve Survey Results

Using Morphine to Improve Survey Results

Back when I was a market research manager at Pizza Hut I sat through several research debriefs where a shot of morphine might well have made the experience more bearable. Invariably it was having tracking study results that caused me the greatest pain: hearing about how the globally-bestowed brand metrics had meandered in the past six months was never my favourite way to pass the time.  I never could find a link between what we heard and what the real business figures told us was going on, beyond the blindingly obvious changes in awareness when we had an ad campaign on air. However, to the best of my knowledge, doctors won’t prescribe opiates for such situations.  It’s another domain entirely where survey results and pain avoidance have recently coincided in a fascinating way. Research by doctors at the Cedars Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, California, examined the correlation between […]

The Rights and Wrongs of Cheating Customers

The Rights and Wrongs of Cheating Customers

“Woah there mule!” as Yosemite Sam used to say, am I suggesting that it can be ‘right’ to cheat customers? Yes, I am (kind of).  Let me explain. I recently had a complaint about a product.  A few years ago I purchased a heart rate monitor watch and, the other day, when I went to use it the strap simply disintegrated. Now I know that the product gets used in a tough environment; there’s no easy way to say this other than things get pretty sweaty when you’re working out.  But I’d always rinsed the watch off and, anyway, coping with sweat is a prerequisite for something worn next to the skin for exercise.  Whilst we’re at it, the band that goes around my chest looks like new, so it’s not as if we’re beyond the capability of modern plastics.  If they can put a man on the moon… and […]

Dell Finally Convert me to Apple

I honestly believed that I would stick with PC based computing.  After twenty years using PCs they’re more familiar than my wife and kids! Despite all the positive things friends have said about Macs, and even though I have owned an iPhone for the last couple of years, there were good reasons not to change.  PCs have always worked well for me and, on the occasions when I have used Macs, I’ve always found them uncomfortably unfamiliar. If nothing else, we humans are creatures of habit: it takes quite a shove to push us out of our comfort zone and into unchartered territory.  For me and PCs that shove was Dell. I enjoy observing my own consumer decision-making and, although I know that much of the action takes place outside of my conscious awareness, my work on the consumer unconscious mind gives me a dual perspective for my own consumer […]

Customer Service: Sometimes Firms Don’t Get It

Large companies spend a fortune on customer service: implementing it, training people, monitoring it and, yes, even researching it. And yet all too often when you deal with a company it seems apparent that they just don’t get it. Take Barclays – one of the largest financial services companies in the UK.  Last week I was in the centre of Cambridge and, for reasons that weren’t immediately obvious, they had a team of blokes dressed as Grenadier Guards (the ones who wear the bearskin headgear) except with corporate blue tunics rather than red and giving out balloons rather than shooting at people. No doubt this was a bold marketing campaign to draw attention to what a lovely bank Barclays is.  And it must be said that the people in uniform were great; joking with shoppers as they passed by. Unfortunately, the person I dealt with in their customer service department […]